another homesick post

i've been very HOMESICK........
getting serious after my mum msn me on thursday
was totally moody after seeing her msg
i hate family issues
been awake d whole nite tryin to study....
nth went in my brain....nth at all
so many things running thru my mind...my brain
tears flowed out slowly.....cudnt control it
decided to sms mami early in d morning
apologizes on behalf of dadi....on d -ve side....yes he was wrong n he reli shud tink b4 he acts....but on d +ve side....it shows tat he care n love her so much....i'm reli scared....i dun wanna c anything bad happen in my family....i've seen enuf since young...been thru all d ups n downs....i'm reli tired of it....wheneva an issue arise i felt so useless....i can oni stand aside in d corner alone...crying....now tat i've grown up....i start to express my feelings....n of cos i'm not brave enuf to say it out...technologies r a great help at dis time....n i dun wan dem to c me keep crying....i hafta hide myself from dem....continue crying alone.....i lub my family so much tat i reli dun wan anything bad to happen...not a single one...i cant lose anyone of dem....my loved ones....i miss dem so much....i've been cryin every single day....cudnt control....i can b so hapi n cheerful d second b4 n totally turned 360 degrees d next second....its like all of a sudden d tears dropped without any acknowledgment....i'm shocked too...i can oni say tat 想念是会呼吸的痛....i told her i'm really homesick....i envy my frenz...i envy dem transferring bak to msia to study bcos dey r damn homesick like me....i said i wanna go bak to study....i juz wanna b somewhere near my family n home...we r kids....n yes kids r ambitious....every kids wud wan to hav d chance to further their studies overseas....including me...we wud try anything we cud do to get ourselves overseas....when we're sent here we r so hapi....finally out of d cage...flying freedomly without any tots...sooner o later we're bored of dis....we started to miss those days when we're still in d cage...d symptom of homesick started to show up....now oni we noe tat home is owes d warmest n best place eva....i juz wanna go home....juz wanna go home.....i got an instinct....i noe i wud fail badly dis time....i'm juz too homesick to get concentrated on my studies...i noe i'm a failure...i noe i've upset dem...they put so much hope in me but in return i let dem down...i dun mind starting all over again in msia....juz bring me home to d place i belong to....i'm freaking homesick....mum replied me saying dey r fine...no matter how hard it is she wans me to b brave to finish my studies for myself n not for dem....n ask me not to say i wanna go bak to study anymore....when she noes tat i'm gonna fail again...her response is different dis time...normally she wud kind of scold me but not reli scold...dis time she says its alrite...juz do betta next time...tears had neva stopped...invigilator were shocked to c me crying throughout d exam...keep askin if i'm alrite...NO I'M NOT....i betta stop talkin bout dis...tears keep dropping again *wipe my tears*


after exam i went out wit rakish,elaine n crystal to do some shopping n dinner
crystal like sth chinese....so we decided to go to Hawker for dinner =) hawker is owes soooo bz n full....we waited for more 30minutes to get a table...geeeeez
i performed a trick b4 d dinner.....i was sooo nervous but luckily it all work out rite =)

being typical msian....dis is wad we decided to order...sambal kangkung
sweet n sour pork
hainanese chicken
mapo tofu

elaine d JB gal enjoying her dinner =)rakish originally a Miri boy den moved to Selangor =)crystal d french gal.....she is juz sooooooo pretty

HAPPY HOLIDAY n enjoy ur trips......i'll c u guys in sem 2 in 8weeks time =)

i'm sowie i freaked u guys out dese few days cos i'm reli emo....sowie
sowie to jazzie as well cos i FFFK(fcukin fong fei kei) on u yesterday =(

i'm currently listening to dis song =)